I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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