if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
