Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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