I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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