Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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