you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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