Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations