Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up