shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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