rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
