he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
