i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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