I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
