The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
