If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
