so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
