I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize