I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I think I just shit out all my problems.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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