Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
