hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
you had me at cake vodka
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
