glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
