It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
