Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
