If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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