Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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