Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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