If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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