Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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