i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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