Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
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Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
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Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.