Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire