i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
