he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.