Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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