If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
