did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
