All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
