I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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