Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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