dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
