Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
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I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
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Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though