I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?