Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.

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  (310): Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive. http://tfl.nu/43yi
  Replies (38) Good night (3130) Bad night (677)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.

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  (302): I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI. http://tfl.nu/3vpl
  Replies (42) Good night (962) Bad night (7334)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...

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  (623): highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume... http://tfl.nu/i7v6
  Replies (56) Good night (4605) Bad night (2243)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.

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  (519): I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that. http://tfl.nu/jia8
  Replies (110) Good night (14831) Bad night (1057)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?

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  (971): the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together? http://tfl.nu/xjvt
  Replies (38) Good night (5933) Bad night (1755)
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  (516): View more from New York

  any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?

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  (516): any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club? http://tfl.nu/452g
  Replies (15) Good night (4583) Bad night (906)
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  (+91): View more from India

  Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.

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  (+91): Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not. http://tfl.nu/eg4c
  Replies (34) Good night (1650) Bad night (3966)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.

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  (704): He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book. http://tfl.nu/dqxa
  Replies (22) Good night (1444) Bad night (3344)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis

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  (607): Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis http://tfl.nu/770f
  Replies (8) Good night (2011) Bad night (677)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.

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  (586): I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print. http://tfl.nu/m0e5
  Replies (7) Good night (1752) Bad night (832)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle

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  (484): My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs (610): I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle http://tfl.nu/o9xz
  Replies (13) Good night (2757) Bad night (599)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs

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  (517): I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs http://tfl.nu/fis6
  Replies (9) Good night (2465) Bad night (611)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?

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  (503): Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I? http://tfl.nu/fev7
  Replies (5) Good night (476) Bad night (863)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.

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  (630): Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween. http://tfl.nu/xmh1
  Replies (2) Good night (572) Bad night (302)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.

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  (586): Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind. http://tfl.nu/wymh
  Replies (3) Good night (335) Bad night (142)

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