I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
