Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
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He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
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He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog