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• (410): View more from Maryland

  To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...

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• (310): View more from California

  dude i need help, im throwing up blood.

  (323): View more from California

  no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.

  (310): View more from California

  oh, so thats why my junks red.

  (323): View more from California

  wow. cant help you there...

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  My astrological sign? Vagitarius.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (917): View more from New York City

  Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.

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• (805): View more from California

  WHY are the edges of my bra charred???

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you

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• (716): View more from New York

  You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (863): View more from Florida

  If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.

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