What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.