just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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