what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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