she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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