I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
