I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
