I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I didn't notice because vodka
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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