you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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