Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Randomize
