so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
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Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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