we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I don't think brook has ever known best
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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