I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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