Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize