Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
