What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
