It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
