He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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