I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
