i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
These tits shall not be calmed
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
