Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
